Should You Be Proud To Be A Coprolite?

That's why Coprolites often fare so badly nowadays. Employers ignore us. Entertainers make fun of us. Politicians suspect we're trying to bankrupt the world simply by living too long.

We must band together to defy this attitude. We should not let them patronize us. Coprolites are not flexibility-challenged, differently-aged, or digestively-retired. We are fossilized old poops and we are proud of it. It's taken us a lot of living and learning to get where we are.

Instead of placidly sitting on our rockers, we Coprolites should be out showing the world who we are. What's more, let's show them that we're not who they think we are. It's good to surprise people every so often (including ourselves). Think about taking a romantic cruise this year instead of that bus trip to Branson. Play blackjack once in a while instead of cribbage. Don't limit your educational efforts to that defensive driving course. Maybe you should study computer programming or theoretical physics or figure drawing instead.

The mineral Coprolite, the symbol of our movement, doesn't look like much in its natural state. But when polished up, it can be quite beautiful. Well, we're the same. When we let our pride shine forth, we're a darned impressive bunch and a force to be reckoned with.

If you buy a sample of Coprolite in a rock shop, you'll pay several dollars for a tiny piece. In other words, pound for pound, Coprolite is worth more than spring chicken any day of the week!