Coprolite Newsletter, July 2004

Yesterday afternoon one of the parents did a disturbing thing at our granddaughter's slow-pitch softball game. No, he didn't get into a fight with another parent. He didn't threaten the umpire. He didn't even holler at his daughter to be more aggressive, as several other parents did. No, what he did was just the opposite. He kept telling her to be more passive.

"Don't swing at the ball!" he would shout when she was at the plate. "NEVER swing at the ball." In a way, he had a point. These were elementary-school players. Although our granddaughter is, of course, a wonderful athlete, most of her teammates are not. The pitchers walk most of the kids they face. Hitters who swing the bat tend to strike out or bounce weak grounders to the infield. Most runs are actually scored through bases-loaded walks. So the odds favor taking every pitch.

Then, when his daughter was playing second base, an easy infield hit dribbled toward her. She picked it up and threw it to first. There would have been plenty of time to make the out, if the ball hadn't sailed ten feet over the first baseman's head. The runner advanced to second. The girl's father had a fit. "Never try to throw the runner out!" he yelled. "Just toss it back to the pitcher."

Again, he did have a point. With this team, a high percentage of throws under pressure are not caught. The odds favored not doing it.

Still, what was he teaching his daughter? Don't play the game. Don't take any chances, even if that's how you learn the skills that will eventually help you succeed. Just concentrate on minimizing your failures. It might be good strategy for this one game today, but it seems like a defeatist attitude for the long term.

From all appearances, this girl's father practiced what he preached. He wore a straw hat and long-sleeved shirt to keep the sun off, and bib overalls. I couldn't help but wonder if all his pants came with big built-in suspenders for added security.

It's natural for people to want to protect their children from struggle, failure and embarrassment. It's the right thing to do. Yet, quite often it's struggle, failure and embarrassment that teach us life's greatest lessons. That's the very reason why I probably learned more during junior high than at any time since. But that's another story.

Strangely enough, this incident got me thinking about the advice people like to give seniors. After all, people's attitude toward children is nearly always reflected in their attitude toward seniors. When your parents get to a certain age, you tend to worry about them in the same way you did over your small kids. Ever since Shakespeare wrote that little speech about the seven ages of man, people have thought of old age as just a reprise of childhood.

My wife and I are starting to see a little of this in our own lives. For example, some members of our family have been floating the idea that we should think about moving from our home on a two-and-a-half acre wooded lot into a townhouse. They point out, accurately, that we wouldn't have to mow 10,000 square feet of lawn, take care of a huge flower garden, or cut down and split any more victims of Oak Wilt.

I know they really mean well. But at the same time, I feel a little like I'm a kid being gently advised to sign up for the remedial arithmetic class instead of algebra. Or not to swing at a pitch. Maybe the challenge is really what we need, even though it's a little too much work. If I didn't have this place, I might be even more overweight than I am now. If my wife weren't so busy bringing order and discipline to her flower garden and trying to improve it aesthetically, she would no doubt spend her time trying to do those same things to me. It's a scary thought.

My advice to kids—and their grandparents—is this: go ahead and swing at the pitch once in a while. You might miss, but at least you know you're in the game.

––Wayne Adams
wayne@coprolites.com
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

To read other Coprolite Columns, return to Newsletter Archives.

You are welcome to forward this newsletter to anyone, as long as you send it in its entirety. To subscribe or unsubscribe, please visit http://three.pairlist.net/mailman/listinfo/coprolitenews.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Who are the Coprolites—a tribe, a secret society, a religious order? If you ’re unfamiliar with this proud but little-understood group, visit http://www.coprolites.org for more information. Find out how you—or that friend of yours who has a birthday coming up—can benefit.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

For professionally written and edited newsletters, brochures, speeches, scripts, or web copy, get in touch with WordMagic Communications. We have lots of powerful words in stock, with fresh supplies arriving daily.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Need a speaker for your workshop, seminar, or meeting? Check out The Expert Speakers Group. .
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -