Coprolite Newsletter, September 2007

Despite all the problems it's been giving me, I think I'm getting fonder of my old computer.

As such machines go, it's pretty long in the tooth. I've owned computers since I bought my Commodore SX-64 in the mid 1980's. It was followed by a long line of successors that took their turns sitting on my desk, kitchen counter, and lap. My experience indicates that, in the lifetime of computers, one computer year equals about fifteen human years. That would make my current five-year-old desktop equivalent in age to a 75-year-old person (or, if you prefer, a ten year old dog).

It definitely is showing its age. Maybe that's why I kind of identify with it.

One symptom it has developed: occasional episodes of fuzziness. Every so often, the image on the screen goes all blurry and grainy and filled with lines. When I move the mouse, the arrow on the screen leaves a powdery trail. I've checked the monitor, and the problem isn't with that. It just seems that, every so often, the computer has trouble concentrating.

Well, I can hardly be too hard on the fella. I sometimes have trouble keeping things in focus too. A tendency to woolgather is to be expected at a certain age.

When the computer has one of these episodes, the only solution is to reboot. Sometimes it works the first time, and sometimes I have to try it half a dozen times before it wakes up in a clear mood.

I can understand that too. It sometimes takes me a few false starts before I completely wake up in the morning.

As you might expect of a computer feeling its age, mine has slowed down a great deal. It plods through programs that it used to race through. It even needs a minute or so to get around to printing out a page, whereas my wife's computer (a young adult in human years) begins kicking out a page instantly on the same printer.

I'm the last person who should be faulting anyone or anything for moving too slowly. Over the years, I've taken to heart the wisdom in the story of the tortoise and the hare. I used to stride down the street like the wind, eyes set straight ahead on some distant goal. Now, I take my time when I walk. I'm geared more for examining and enjoying each leaf and pebble along the path. (Or at least I would be if I weren't wearing bifocals.)

The most annoying symptom of my computer's age is that it doesn't always stay up and running when I want it to. I could be in the middle of something important, and it just goes down at the most inopportune time.

Let's see, where was I going with this part? I forget.

Anyway, you might be wondering why I don't just replace the old relic with a new computer. Well, it has features and abilities that a new one would lack. In fact, a new computer simply wouldn't do the things I need it to.

I use a lot of programs (for desktop publishing, word processing, and graphics) that work with older versions of Windows, but which don't yet work with the new Vista operating system. If I buy a new computer, it'll come with Vista. No doubt that's all very nice, but it would leave me unable to do my work.

In the same way, we older people come with some capabilities that aren't readily found in the rosy-cheeked younger generation. Like my old programs, we actually know how to make things work on the systems that have always made the world go around in the past. Our folks can contribute experience, perspective, and yes, maybe even some wisdom. It would be a shame if employers, organizations, and spouses decided to replace members of my generation with glossy newcomers.

I guess that's why I kind of identify with my crotchety old computer, and intend to keep it around as long as possible.

––Wayne Adams
wayne@coprolites.com

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